1) Shave your head. Get something horrifying (Tubgirl, goatse, Ron Jeremy sucking himself off) tattooed on the back of your head. The kicker here is to let your hair grow back over this tattoo, at which point you and a friend go to a barber shop. You explain to the stylist that you lost a bet, and now you have to get your head shaved. For bonus points, have a friend snap a picture of the stylist's reaction when they see the awful, awful way you've desecrated your body.
Of course, I have no idea if hair even grows over tattoos, so you might just be stuck with a revolting image permanently drawn on your patchy, mangy head.
2) Scuff off the first two layers of skin on the insides of your elbows. Pour ink on one side, then close your elbows. With any luck, you'll have perfect rorschach blots! But most likely, no. You'll just have an infection.
3) Get 50 to 100 metal tipped darts. Have a friend dip the points in ink, while you stand bent over with your pants around your ankles. Hilarity ensues. For added fun, divide the darts evenly among multiple friends. Assign each person their own color of ink. The person with the tightest grouping of dots wins a case of beer.
4) Find the characters for "Pretentious American Asshole" in Mandarin Chinese. Go to a Chinese tattoo artist and ask him to put this on your body. Tell him you're pretty sure it means "Freedom and Prosperity". See if he corrects you.
5) For the ladies: A nice, simple trickle of blood down your thighs. Fellas(Or ladies, I guess), how about a river of brown running down the back of your legs?
6) If you never wanna have sex again, get nasty sores tattooed on your naughty bits. Sure to freak people right out!
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