I've observed it for awhile, but this might be the first time I've put it in writing; I have a nasty habit of falling in love with my friends' girlfriends. The last two girls I've been crazy about have both been dating guys I've known for at least six or seven years. Really good friends of mine. And I still desired their women, even thought to myself that they didn't deserve the good fortune of dating these amazing girls. Maybe in some respects, I'm right. But for the most part, I just feel like a petty thief. I fucking hate it. I hate it because not only is it awful on my part to want to be with someone a good friend of mine is dating, but it makes me a terrible person because I'm silently hoping that their relationship will blow up in their faces so I have a chance. I don't want them to work out their problems. I know, it's rotten of me, right?
But at least, I'm pretty sure I'm not falling for these girls simply because my friends are dating them... I'd like to believe that it's just because we have similar tastes. I don't know. There aren't any easy answers. I fall too hard for girls all the time, and when it doesn't work out for one reason or another, I just get extremely bitter. It's terrible. I almost wish I couldn't fall in love.
Now that's a terrible thing to wish upon yourself.
In less depressing news, I did in fact get my learner's permit. So I can start practicing driving again, and hopefully have my license by the middle of September. I might even drive the van part of the way up to Wisconsin tomorrow. It'd be good practice.
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