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Thursday, January 5, 2012

I'll try to keep this short.

I recently made the realization that even if I life to the age of 92, I have lived a quarter of my life already. This has been a strange thing to come to grips with and it's changing me, even if I'm not really sure how just yet. Emotionally I've been pretty much all over the place in the last month, observing the turmoil in my friends' lives and the rest of the world as if from afar. Everything I say when I talk to people feels hollow these days. Maybe it is. Suddenly I feel as if a new perspective on life has been thrust upon me when I wasn't looking, and the enormity of it all, the millions of choices that we can make, is just bearing down on me.

And yet, I am still me. I still play music. I've started painting a lot lately too. I still talk to my friends, I still drink beer, and I still laugh. My heart still falls for the same old tricks. But some parts of me, I simply don't recognize.

It's hard to explain what's going on in my head. I would love to have someone here that I could talk to about all this, instead of making it a three paragraph stoned monologue on the Internet.

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